A Few Good Men

Last December, Anji & I were at the mall while visiting family back in Washington for the Holidays. Having been in choir while I was in High School and singing in malls and other public events during the Christmas season, I was gratified to see a High School choir performing for the passers by. The quality of the music was not very high and then I noticed part of the reason. In a choir of nearly 40 members, there were only 4 male voices. I thought that was a sad example of the state of young men today. Where were all of the young men? I thought at the time, “What does this mean for that generation?” It could mean that this is just one example of how men are falling further and further behind in the arts, education, and advancements that have been poured out upon the west for nearly the past 400 years (see footnote 1).

Here is another example to illustrate my point – this one is from the other side of the country. A few weeks ago Anji & I went to our son’s school for his Kindergarten orientation. There were 42 women and 19 men present. Or rather, there were presumably 42 mothers and only 19 fathers. How sad. I thought, “Where have all of the fathers gone?”

Here is another, almost daily experience I have while I am out and about. I often see a woman, young or middle aged, who has taken the time to properly groom herself. She has dressed nicely with pressed clothes, well done hair and make-up if she chooses. She will be with a man, young or middle aged, who, more often then not, is wearing an un-tucked T-shirt, shorts or baggy pants, a hat or poorly done hair and with several days worth of facial hair sprouting from his face. As I ponder on this I think, “Where is the self respect? Where is the refinement and honor in our gender?” I am not saying we all need to wear suits and ties around but that we should simply be neat, clean and dignified in our appearance. Truly it seems like many men are from Mars. However, unlike those planetary orbs which travel in a constant and predictable path in relation to each other, the divide between man and woman is getting deeper and deeper and they are moving further and further apart.

In my short 13 years of adulthood I have come to realize the sharp and steady decline in the refinement, education, spirituality, and sense of personal honor and duty within my gender. The magazines that seem to target men (Sports Illustrated, Men's Health, GQ, etc.) are not full of stories about heroism or valor, strength of character or selfless service in families. Rather they are full of exercise routines, diets for men, fashion, interviews with athletes, stories of recent games and self indulgence. Where have all of the true role models gone? It seems they have all vanished into history and been replaced with athletes or comic book action figures.

As amazingly capable as women are, men and fathers are irreplaceable in the lives of their children and our families. As scripture teaches, “Neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord (see footnote 2).”

How can we make a difference?

If you are a man, choose to take the path less traveled – the path of goodness, of honor, of personal dignity, refinement and respect. That is the one that will make all the difference. If you are married, be a faithful husband. Never allow yourself to even get close to breaking your marital vows. If you are a father, make your family your top priority.

Take an active part in your community by volunteering in the lives of young boys. There are too many boys without proper role models in their lives to steer them in the right direction. If you are accomplishing the first number above, move to this and expand your influence for good.
Extend the hand of charity to an erring brother, and, while there is the least chance of restoring him to his destined usefulness, endeavor to aid, support and uplift him to higher ways. Don't wait for a better day. Today is the best day to do something. Someone needs you now.

We must help the men of the world to become something better and to fulfill their divine role in the lives of families, communities and nations. Our happiness depends on it.


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Footnotes:

1. http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/05/05/Report-1-in-5-youg-men-drop-out/UPI-12271241578601/ . This was also a good article: http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2007-09-12-census-college-enrollment_N.htm

2. http://scriptures.lds.org/1_cor/11/11#11